Tragedy.

why.

2009-08-04T21:41:00.003+08:00

School as usual - Always having school blues.

Fucked up recently, so kinda no mood to talk. I can't seem to be interested in anything. Again not being myself just to fit in. Suddenly feel that school sucks. Feels like dragging myself to go school despite i don't want to. School is always as boring as ever. Feels like a loner. Feels like being alone.

Sometimes i asked myself why. Why am i doing all this for? Why others have good looks? Why some are borned from a rich family? Why others have a happy family? Why others have a genius-like brian? Why others have someone they can reply on? Then i asked myself, Why i have absolutely nothing at all? There's so much why. WHY WHY WHY. Sometimes when think of it, i felt so suicidal. Just feel like ending my life at that moment.

Feels like every human beings is all out there to against me. Even god forsakes me. Life is never ever fair. Getting sick of this.

Two word to conclude this post : FUCK LIFE.

( PS : i don't need any sympathy. I don't need anyone giving empty promises anymore. )

Tired.

2009-07-30T18:51:00.003+08:00

Tired of life because its never fair
Tired of this loveless world

Tired of this realistic world
Tired of this superficial world
Tired of seeing people who go for looks
Tired of not being my true self just to fit in
Tired of receiving consistant naggings & scoldings
Tired of people controlling my life
Tired of people saying that there's hope in this world

Tired of envy-ing people having good looks and brain

Tired of talking to my doll about my problems

Tired of looking myself at the mirror cos my face just really sucks

Tired of seeing people having a good life filled with much love and yet me feels like living in the hell every single day

Tired of what i'm doing now just for the sake of future

Tired of ... many many things

I needa rest. I needa break. I needa to keep myself away from the world.

All about Betty. ^^.

2009-07-26T21:19:00.009+08:00

Went out in the afternoon to celebrate Betty's birthday in advance. Met them at TM, then me and Karen headed to buy Betty's presents. Aftermath, me, karen,laywei & xueting went to buy a cake for Betty. Then gave her the cake and present(s),chatted awhile before we go to watch Harry Potter & the half-blood prince. The movie was nice. (:. Took photos, everyone then headed home.

right : failed shot. -.-

Finally a perfect shot. Hah.

Suprise. I realised i miss them so much. & my other friends too, esp sy. Hope they'll do well for o's. Hah. There's so much things that i wanna crap with them, so much things that we can bitch about. Well, Maybe the past is still better...

So that's my update & i gonna study for my programming test tml! AHHHHH! Even though i know i will still get a fb.. __

Seriously.

2009-07-22T18:05:00.003+08:00

I may look funny.

I may look dumb.

I may sound stupid.

I may give you an impression that you can tense me like nobody's business,

Go ahead dude. I'm fine with it.

But never ever try to provoke me when i'm feeling low/angry. I repeat, NEVER EVER TRY THIS.SERIOUSLY.

Or else don't blame me for being extra & extremely nasty to you.

Bleh.

2009-07-21T22:08:00.005+08:00

Apples keep fats away. YAY. Can't wait to lose fats~! :D. Shall try that one day. ^^. Constantly eating only apples for the entire week. Next, shall go for intensive jogging and skipping to lose the fats! YAY. Wish me luck people. :D.

-

School today was super slack. :x. That's all. Ya, my boring life.

useubkedo ireon gieokdeuri ajikdo nalgwirobhinda.

Am i lying to myself again?

Mood swing.

2009-07-18T23:30:00.004+08:00

In major mood swing now. Just leave me alone. & Yes, I PMS a lot.

I will never ever believe in relationship,friendship & sistership anymore. LIES AND BULLCRAP.

Bloody fucking waste of my time and energy.

Bored yoh.

2009-07-17T19:15:00.006+08:00

In short;

Had EP tutorial, AE lecture today. Skipped EG1002 lecture today.
Got back EP result - C. Happy with it alrdy. heh.
Dad fetch me,whitney,sp home.
Feeling so sian right now that i use webcam to entertain myself.
zz. I hate my teethhh ! TT

Can someone entertain meeeeeeeeee ? :D

The tears behind those smile.No one will understand what's exactly with me.

MIA for 5 days alrdy o:

2009-07-17T10:37:00.005+08:00

Have been feeling lazy nowadays. Kinda weird, i think my results was even much better than secondary school result. wth. ==.
Few days ago,

2 wires in 1 hole. LOL. Credits go to Ben & Varian.

Sometimes lab can be fun too (:

Yesterday,
Stayed back after last lesson for the analogue thing o: & it was my first time staying so late in school ! LOL. Some of us actually stayed in school until 11++, just to get the things done. Tired but fun at the same time ! LOL ! So much crapping and jokes around, how to get bored you tell me. LOL. Come to think of it, me and ssq quite bad leh, LOL. We always go disturb LF. LOL. :x. & She got pissed off and scolded us. TT. The guys went to Mac and bought our dinner. We even had our dinner with our teacher at the corridor! The teacher damn funny ah, even he also say LF talk weird weird de. LOL. YA! Funny part comes. LOL. Then a few went back to Lab to continue while me, ssq and Pandy still stay outside the corridor to talk. Then ltr we went to throw the rubbish. Then we saw a rubbish bin, but to get in,need to press the button(aiya no idea how to describe). We got in and throw our rubbish and then we want to get out.. WE ARE LOCKED INSIDE ALRDY! Then we called for help, LOL, we were like jumping and shouting and screaming for help LOL! Then i keep jumping too luh, LOL, then lucky one of them saw us then come to save us !~! LOL! It was damn funny luh!LOL! Then Pandy say me and ssq like kids sia. LOL. Then we went back do our work, etc, & teacher decided to let us pass! yay! HAHA.

Warren's face is red HAHA. But sad ah,he use his hand block so cant see. x.x

O:,Pandy said i'm trying to be MJ. Okay, fine. -.-

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. GOING TO PLAY GAME NOWWWWWWWWW.

Penisular.

2009-07-12T13:24:00.006+08:00

Went out with Sis yesterday to repair her phone and got myself a bag too. :D

left: zz. fucking hot sia. hot die me -.-

left : sis.

Finally got myself a cap/hat(or whatever you call). YAY.

Love it! :D

Abit sian. Tml school starting le. D: & its programming again~ X.X Maybe i will skip that lesson and go for maths tutorial bah. See how. :x

Last day of CT.

2009-07-10T23:19:00.005+08:00

Last day of CT. Great, excellent in fact. Used only half an hour to finish the paper. Pro right. Don't envy ty. LOL. Seriously fuuny luh. LOL. Almost half the class hand in the paper right after the 40 mins luh. LOL. Okay, aftermath, went to Bugis with girls to shop etc. So yup, no photos. Lazy luh paisehhhh.

You may not feel it, but it hurts me a lot. & i'm still trying.

Today.

2009-07-09T12:28:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday, Xinmiao Love. <3
( see, i put the words big big okay! LOL !)

Yesterday's paper was totally screwed up. T_T i realised i can do all the questions actually.
Make me feel even worse luh. T___________T.
Nevermind. Today's papers was like... No feelings? Dont know whether is a good thing anot ~
Hope can pass le. Programming confirm fail one la, so i won't bother reading. :X.
Will be back with photos probably tml?

Fucked-up life.

2009-07-07T13:51:00.003+08:00

Living in the hell every single day.
Can't wait to leave this home.
Can't wait to finish studies and work.
Can't wait to see all those who make my life a hell to die painfully.
Can't wait to turn 30 and await for death god to come.

This should be the kind of life i'm leading. Blame it for what have happened this past 17 years.

Today.

2009-07-06T12:39:00.003+08:00

Maths was alright today. Not much worries about that.

I'm still alive. Not yet dead. Wonders why. & i'm still holding on to something.

I'm being a bitch today.

2009-07-04T16:27:00.012+08:00

What's Family?What's Love?What's Friends?
Let me tell what is it about yeah.

Family.
That's when you thought nothing else matters, as long i have my family with here, i'm fine.
This is when you thought you have all the love and everything seem beautiful ~

I don't deny that doesn't happen. But it last only for a short period- when you are still child. How sad har.

This is what it happens when you don't get the love anymore.

All by yourself, no one is going to be there for you anymore. This is when your life in hell begin. Being alone was bad enough, it make it even worse when you received constant naggings, being shouted at(for nothing), being used as a toy to vent anger at, restricted from doing this and that, got scolded when your mum thinks you side your dad, dad show attitude by not giving allowance which i am the one who get scolded. Unfortunately, i'm born from a broken family. What else more can i say?
And i'm still very foolish, wishing my family will once again be like any other happy family...

Love.
WOW. That's a big word yeah. What's it all about? Constant saying of "i love you" like there's no tomorrow? Or telling the whole world he/she shall be your last romance? PS : what i mentioned is not refering to anyone yeahs.

That's when you thought love makes the whole go round, and you are so blind by love that you could only see him/her but no one else. When you thought you can last long with 'that one'..

Who knows your 'the one' left you and you are now all alone..

So why bother wasting time loving someone and got your heart broken in the end?
See the point?

Friends.
Har. What a joke, when people says its okay, your friends will be there for you. JOKE ! Come on, who will fall for it? Perharps some will believe in that. Well, they are not wrong too. But not everyone is that lucky to have true friends by their side. Not for me.

This is when you think friends matters to you.

Friends only come to you when they need you to join the fun or maybe going out to play. That's all. Nothing more than that. So when you're facing problems and is very upset, don't expect they will come over to you to offer help or even to console you. This will never happen. Okay, wake up from your dream manzxc.

What happens when you faced a problem? Face it yourself lor, its your problem, not your friends' problem, so why will they bother helping you? Get it? Or can try talking to the wall

about the problems you facing. Quite effective though.

Complains.

2009-07-01T22:52:00.005+08:00

Hey yoh peeps.
I'm stressed out and fucked up mazxc.
Got so many things to do and we are given such a limited time. ):
And wtf, i'm still here blogging. -.-.
Nvm. Seemed like my webcam has a problem manzxc.
Yesterday tried to webcam with Warren, failed to. -.-.

Nvm,Don't talk about this. Seemed like i'm nothing different from a dog har.
Scold, scream, shout at me like i'm your dog.
I told myself to tolerate, but sometimes, its way too much. TOO much. Get it?
I don't even have a sense of privacy. When i talked on phone, you will always ask " who called you? Called for what?" Come on, seriously, its my privacy. I reply you cos i respect you. But do you?Even when i online, you will always assume i'm playing Auditionsea, thought i become a gaming freak. Yes, i do play, but that's only when i'm bored or people asked me to play. See?
You still don't believe me. Fine. I don't wanna argue this with you. You, no idea where you got this stupid idea, always suspect me whether i'm smoking. Past is past already, what else you want? I say no means no luh, keep asking me. This clearly show you don't believe me at all. Sometimes you are getting my nerves you know. Sometimes i just feel like the more you don't want me to do, the more i will do. Get it? Pissed off. I don't wanna talk about this anymore. fuck it. z.

Decide to let it go. No point holding on anymore.

Prawning.

2009-06-28T13:10:00.006+08:00

Went for prawning yesterday. So yup, my saving plan failed. -.-. Spent about $20 in total. wtf @_@. Suppose to save money, well, i guess failed again. Nevermind. Lazy to type. Shall just post photos now.

Big face i know. stfu.Right, pay $7.90 for the gold bowl.-.-

More photos will be up when i got the others.So for now, i shall end my post and go to Auditionsea.

stfu & click this.

2009-06-28T11:31:00.000+08:00

Rewind.